Review: ‘Heart Eyes’ be stills horror fans’ black hearts

While hopeless romantics and the newly in love still celebrate Valentine’s Day, many others are of the opinion that it is a commercial holiday designed to fill restaurants, and increase the commercial sales of flowers, chocolate and jewellery. Some call this cynical view a war on love waged by bitter singles, while others consider it an exercise in practicality by those who believe in better uses for their hard-earned cash. Thus, a serial killer targeting happy couples on the highest of romantic holidays is the greatest irony and the plot of the new blood-splattered horror rom-com, Heart Eyes.

For the last two years, the “Heart Eyes Killer,” a.k.a. H.E.K., has selected a U.S. city as their hunting ground and gone on a murder spree on Valentine’s Day before disappearing for another year. Right on cue, Detectives Hobbs (Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Jordana Brewster) are called to a crime scene where a couple was found slaughtered on the morning of cupid’s big day, signaling the start of the killer’s next bloody spree. As the body count once again rises, those who don’t heed the warnings to celebrate at home risk becoming the killer’s next victims. Unfortunately for Ally (Olivia Holt) and Jay (Mason Gooding), H.E.K. has mistaken the newly-met pair for a couple in love and is chasing them across the city to put a fatal end to their non-existent romance.

It’s been a minute since genre fans got a good slasher movie, never mind one that’s also a clever, self-aware horror comedy. While My Bloody Valentine unfolds on the same holiday, it was more targeted and centred on retribution. This film, on the other hand, steps outside the box by dispatching anyone that appears to be in love, as well as any immediate bystanders. The on-screen kills are sparse but macabrely creative, showcasing the skilful work of the visual effects team and earning director Josh Ruben another feather in his blood red cap.

Notably, the film does not take itself too seriously, nor does it pass up an opportunity to make fun of the genre’s or holiday’s conventions. It’s littered with witty diatribes and funny quips that alleviate the intensity just enough to still keep everyone on high alert. Meanwhile, the platonic couple repeatedly evades their murderous stalker who refuses to listen to reason, all the while romantic music, like Lonestar’s “Amazed” and KC & The Sunshine Band’s “Please Don’t Go,” keeps the passion alive in the background. Impressively, the script even works the titles of six rom-coms into a single exchange.

Holt and Gooding have excellent chemistry, whether they’re trading barbs in a romantic restaurant, sharing a heartfelt moment over a less-than-ideal soundtrack or clumsily saving each other’s lives. It’s a physically demanding picture with several well-choreographed fights using weapons that range from throwing knives and mini crossbows to anything at someone’s fingertips. No matter who is involved, they feel like high-stakes battles that are both desperate and calculated. There’s also a great scene that uses red-tinted night vision goggles, which eerily make the killer’s heart-shaped eyes the only thing visible in the dark.

Guessing the killer’s identity isn’t too difficult, though they still manage to throw some curveballs at the end. And to the script’s credit, it’s difficult to resist a movie in which one of the characters also loves the screwball comedy classic, His Girl Friday.

Director: Josh Ruben
Starring: Jordana Brewster, Olivia Holt and Devon Sawa