Review: ‘Dead Men Tell No Tales’ except for familiar ones (Includes first-hand account)

When studios find a cash cow, they’re generally unwilling to let it go even when it seems past due. But as long as audiences are willing to head to the theatre to see the latest installment, studios will keep a franchise going long past its last good movie. That’s not to say there can’t be a return to glory after a bunch of duds, but it’s a rare occurrence. Fortunately dedicated fans keep the hope alive, eager to see if this one could finally be the one. On that note, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man Tell No Tales is new to theatres.

Henry Turner (Brenton Thwaites) has spent most of his life trying to break the curse that bonds his father to The Flying Dutchman. Meanwhile, Carina Smyth (Kaya Scodelario) has been trying to solve the mystery left to her as her birthright — the map to Poseidon’s trident — by her unidentified father. However, finding the trident soon becomes the quest of everyone on the water when they realize it can break sea curses. Top of that list is Captain Salazar (Javier Bardem) and his crew, who were cursed by a young Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) many years before. Thus begins a close race to the end of the map no man can read.

This film serves as a semi-reboot for the franchise, introducing a new, young pair of soon-to-be-in-love characters to lead the adventures of the never-ending franchise. Fortunately, Henry and Carina are quite likeable characters — perhaps even more so than their predecessors, Will and Elizabeth (Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley, who also make brief appearances in this movie as if to pass the baton). As new villains threaten the pirates the couple are sure to become, they will undoubtedly find their way back to Jack in order to once again save him and the world.

Bardem is a very impressive villain, relishing the opportunity to play this indestructible force set on revenge. His ship and its many secrets are also striking as it often moves like a killer whale on the hunt, destroying its opponents with a single lunge. Geoffrey Rush is back as Captain Barbossa, yet they’ve tried to soften his character by calling him by his first name — Hector — more than ever before. Sparrow continues to become increasingly drunk and ridiculous with each installment, so it’s not really surprising he spends the first half of the film as the butt of most jokes.

As usual, there are some very striking visuals throughout the film. Salazar and his crew’s decayed appearance is certainly some of the best creations of the franchise, as well as the gutted ship; the captain’s hair is always floating behind him as if the man was still underwater and the skeletal ship is a wonder. However, a less appreciated but equally reliable aspect of these movies is a scene nearly too dark to see the action — thankfully it wasn’t 3D or it would’ve been entirely unintelligible.

Hopefully some new blood will inspire better stories for the inevitable years to come. In the meantime, see if you can spot Paul McCartney in the film.

#PiratesLife
(via @PaulMcCartney) pic.twitter.com/RKzDXOpJot

— #PiratesLife (@DisneyPirates) May 13, 2017

Directors: Joachim Rønning and Espen Sandberg
Starring: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush and Javier Bardem

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